Some Jokes to Dirty Up Your Day
Together AgainAgnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”
Doc, I've Got A ProbA man visits his doctor."I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed."Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?""
Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he came back."Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue too."
Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant. "
Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc,and the patient had to agree to the operation. But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc gives him the bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has to go.Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "
You really want to die?", asked the doctor."But... how do I pee?""We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation,the unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is very angry."Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue.""
What?""Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and says, "Hmmmm, I think its the jeans......"
Thumb SuckingA husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom."
Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts just for sucking our thumbs."
Yours Sincerelies,
Chuatelier
upper east side of manhatten. tts where i stayed for 1week.
8days is really long felt that centuries have passed
i miss my hyven so.
esp when our sleeping pattern is so screwed up
we wake up each time asking the date.
lust i know the HGF is here
but u dun have to be over xcited
that all ur frens are coming out.
and i greatly appreciate ur concern
of me staying in the hotel room alone.
but i think with my early morning geisha makeup
they will leave me alone.
as for may her drug overdosed face will ward of all evil.
show more concern to ur BFF zq instead.
the palace!!! cheryl and i was screaming like lil girls when we saw tt.
this adorable AM we saw while waitng to cross e road. he's french
real choco 
the "i love NY" tee for only 2.50
aft much cutting and tearing plus bitching while we create our master piece. i think it looks 25.50 
we ARE commanding attention! but so what!
its NYC! its upper east side, im proud to shout!
ong swee lin couldnt stop laughing when she saw wat i did to my hair.
we are M's wannabe! look at the hump. i think cheryl look more martha simpson
BvLGARI charity ring.unlike sin they have got plenty.no waiting list needed. i loveNY
cheryl and i have become so much closer aft this.
much have been shared and gossips bond f/s (totally agree)
welcome to bunk in if u...
put disneychn on 24/7
inner the inner is always on ur mind
hate damp bathroom
jump to bed w/o bathing
eat breakfast in bed w/o brushng
loves center partng
find zach and cody cute
wears big tee and shorts to slp
have a middle name
den welcome to stay with us on e uppereastside.
haha i love cheryl nana ong.
In the school Lab..
Just completed 1 group assigment
Chua is sitting beside me, editing his work with his group.
Just know how to sweet talk the gals..
Thank god my group has finished and all ready for submission.
Going to National Library to complete my HR essay..
My mom has been commenting that i look so skinny now..
My face has sharpen and my breast has shrunken.
School work has just sap away my time from doing the things i like.
I have not been running for so long and i am losing my stamina
no time to watch my favourite porn
stayed till 9 in the library everyday..
just hope i did well for all essay..
going to eat and head down to NLB later.
lustylester
location.... NYC
just 10 mins ago the chambermaid
barge into my room.
YES she used her "万能房门卡"
闯进我的房间
真是 nehneh de!
if i have a LPZ sure shrink into the size of a marble
but i also quite smart la
i took the opp to extort her
frm lotsa shampoo, bath foam, lotion...blahblah
not being cheapskate but the travel size bottle
is sooo cute. just like a wine bottle
only is 18 times smaller 可爱。我爱
most imptly its frm BATH AND BODY WORKS!
plus my lao bu has been making complains
that her collection of FREE hotel's "souvenirs"is shrinking.
my target is 2dozen miniatures for this trip.
i know i can!!!!!! haha
ya la i cheapskate. tel me u wan too arse.
door gift for anyone of u arse who comes over.
unlimited usage of shampoo and conditioner. promise.
When the library has become my third home!
Hi guys..We have not update for such a long time..I am just so busy with school work man..Library has become my third home now..Just completed one essay..I have no idea how i fare..But one thing is for sure..I tried my damn damn best already la...Still got 5 more essays to submit and they are really sucking up my energy man..I don even have the time to run now man as i got to stay in school to complete the damn essays till 10..I just cant work at home la..The bed, the com and the tv just make my heart go wild la..
Thank god that these few days i got to sleep and recharge well before i start on the next essay again..This coming wed, there will be a test..argg..When u are working, u just wan to study..When u in school, u just wan to get your ass off to work..Zhiqiang and i have been making fun of ppl in our class behind their back man...No wonder the ulcer in my mouth still haven recover.. I am so pissed off with it that i rub salt on it. Now swollen....but i feel good la..
These are my group members man..Wilson and Kexin..
Zhiqiang is such a filrting bitch..Still got time to join student council and love to act friendly in school..See, he is trying to impressed jean abt his love life and jean is just so excited that she wanted to clap her hands..
...Too tired...
Lustylester signing out
