our game.our rules. this is war

Some Jokes to Dirty Up Your Day

Together Again
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

Doc, I've Got A Prob
A man visits his doctor."I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed."Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?""
Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he came back."Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue too."
Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant. "
Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc,and the patient had to agree to the operation. But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc gives him the bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has to go.Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "
You really want to die?", asked the doctor."But... how do I pee?""We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation,the unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is very angry."Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue.""
What?""Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and says, "Hmmmm, I think its the jeans......"

Thumb Sucking
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom."
Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts just for sucking our thumbs."

Yours Sincerelies,
Chuatelier

posted by farkedfaced @ 11:53 PM